Inside I felt empty...
It felt little cold...
My dreams by now have turned so old...
Its left untouched,safe somewhere..
In my heart inside...
No one is there to follow me now...
And there is no one to guide... ... ...

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Diving In...

She had never been out there in that wild world
Never been in the garden of oysters and pearl.
Even floating in the waters of Andaman
Tried but couldn’t touch the living corals by the hand


She collected a few but they were dead...
And dead but beauty, tucked within the sandy bed
She carried them back home with love and care
But to dive in deeper and touch them alive…she didn’t dare...


And she wakes up in the middle of the life...
She wants to shout fearless n make a deep dive...
A bit of a chance to herself, she wants to give...
For the first time in a long while...she wants to LIVE....

ECSTASY

Late but it’s never late. I thought the ‘times’ are over, indeed they are…but then, it is over until new times are born. In a different way, a different shape, often unrecognizable. The innocence gone, rather murdered by the self. The heart broken, but not unlovable; non fixable but not non gatherable; the cracks visible, the thing often grotesque in shape, but sticking together just to prove it’s not over, not yet.
The rain doesn’t mean ‘romantic’ anymore, but a soothing touch of some long forgotten little girl’s fantasy. The chill in the cheeks standing at the door of a fast moving local train, in a lonesome winter ‘s evening is not ‘masochism’ but a feel…sipping in another trait of this vulnerable-adorable-dynamic life. Dreams, not to be true, but yet to be viewed, with eyes open or closed. Holding on to life though every moment is but a step nearing the death. Inevitability not to be feared, but holding on to the volatile spirit of life.
I don’t know what I speak, but I speak. I don’t know how far the love would take us, but I love. Don’t know life’s intentions, never knew, never understood when it played its nasty pranks…but life I held on to, I still do. The trust I showered on ‘life’ brought back certain dry droplets of dew I had longed for, for so long…longed and longed - until forgotten…but it’s here again, knocking at the door behind the lashes.
There is a difference between fun and happiness. Fun is good but momentary. Happiness, a good feeling that lingers in the heart for a longer while, but a fragile heart if it be, it might just get evaporated in the blink of an eye. And there is ECSTASY. A feel, indefinably pure…surprisingly precious…a feel unparalleled… a long walk in the dark…a holding hand… a first kiss… a shy look penetrating the heart… ecstasy !ecstasy! ecstasy! I shout in my silence…a love in my heart- HEART- that thing in bad shape-but not dead…a life crawling towards the death…till then lets LIVE, for life’s sake.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Pagol...


Ektu pagol rodher kona, amar lekhar gaye..
Ektu shisir, pagol sheo, amar paye paye.
Hothat pagol hawar dapot urie nilo mon..
Elomelor majhei khuje pelum apon jon.

Brishtir ak pagol chite, garom chaaer vaanre..
Pakhir daker mon kamon ra pagol bon badare.
Shapno majhe pelum j tor pagol chokher chawa..
Bhaancha morar neshar majhe, hothat toke pawa.

Raater pagol andhokar ta kamon chena chena
Shapno vangar pagol byatha jaena to r kena.
Tao j pagol paglamita matie rakhe mon
pagol shaje baul she j, amar pagol jon.

Priyo Bondhu..




Hothat kothao harie jawa,
Andhakare bhoy na pawa

Dukhkho niye haansha haanshi
Mon kamoner thansha-thanshi

Kanna pele lukochuri
Haanshi manei barabari

Kobi gurur gaan k pawa
Gola chere baul gawa

Tor shongei chute chawa
Badol diner pagla hawa

Mone pore prothom dakha
Achena sei pother baanke?

Prothom prothom kobita lekha
Harie, moner manushta k

Tor jonno koto kotha
harie gie o fire elo

Bondhu tui boddo priyo
Andhakarer ektu alo.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

I lie no more..


I feel no pain
No ecstasy
I stroll no more
In fantasy
Breaks not my heart
Dreams I don't see
I lie no more
Bout you and me.

I lie no more
Bout me or you
I treasure our days
Our days but few...
The heart not aches
And heart not breaks
A walk...bare feet
Thorns wet with dew.

And it might bleed
A little while
When I flaunt on
A bleeding smile
Numb, loveless heart
You would never see
I lie no more
Bout you and me.

And little fairy tales
I don't adore
Tentative foot prints
I leave ashore
And numb-liness,in
That heart I bore
Bout you, to me
I lie no more.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

An Exaggerated Note:

The exaggerated ‘night hours’ would darken its shade with every passing moment and often give a ‘never gonna end’ feeling…its not that I do not appreciate darkness, but then I doubt if it’s healthy.

The exaggerated ‘dawn’ would dawn in so early that a feeling of being deprived of good sleep would disturbingly linger in my mind for hours.

The exaggerated ‘smile’ I would flaunt would readily be like the waterproof- dustproof make-up that I never wear, to effectively cover up the wrinkles of emotions that I feel you must never see. Trust me you may even possibly fall in love with that smile. But you better not. Those intense smiles are pretty deceptive.

The exaggerated ‘eyes’ that you may never get to see in its nakedness have decided not to let you know what it could reflect otherwise.

The exaggerated ‘other sense organs’ would actively and sensibly go ‘numb’ when you would try your best to reach out- with amusing or abusive gestures. Believe me; what you would deliver (good or bad) would mostly go unheard-unreciprocated.

The exaggerated ‘long forgotten love’ would somehow disturbingly manage to pop up and peep inside the mind and deliver fragments of creation that might be or might not be jotted down in words, thus losing its fragmented existence…never to be remembered again.

The exaggerated ‘sweet dreams’ would always offer heartaches, more intense and scary than any nightmare would ever have the potential to offer.

The exaggerated ‘will power’ would force me to forget you by reminding me- ‘you’ are the one to be forgotten.

The exaggerated ‘heart beat’ that had been determined never to beat for the certain ‘you’ ever again, would arrogantly start beating harder, with may be just a glimpse of your smile, or just a passing by through your path.

The exaggerated ‘heart’ would break again by just remembering some not-to-be-remembered good days…as if ‘breaking’ is its most desired passion. Do trust me; I still do not understand this stupid heart’s story.

The exaggerated ‘pain’ in that heart would be so effective a cure to the other physical pains…coz’ when the two be compared, the heartaches would always win over.

The exaggerated ‘life’ would never wait a while to give rest to the respiratory organ, no matter how desperately you wish or plead it to make a halt.

The ‘exaggerated note’ would have never stopped from developing, if the watch didn’t show its time to go home.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Atota poth chole...

Prem to thake prem thakbe bole,
Mon ta na hoy vangbe barong bar-
Mon j ki chae, mon o bojhe na re,
Valobashao dae na tar uttor.
Tai bole to mon o premer juti
Samay samay maan ovimaan khala;
Prem ache tai jorie newa shaja,
Prem ke abar aankre dhore baancha.
Boshontou furie jokhon ashe,
Shada kalor aanka aase paase
Valobasha jalie rakhe agun,
Porone tar bishorjoner mala.

Atota poth chole tahar sathe
Bujhlona mon premer pagol khala.